Love is the benchmark

June 22, 2006

By Randy and Debbie Mantik

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:7,8, NIV).

A number of years ago, an organization Randy served was involved in a transaction with another Christian company. In the end, it appeared that Randy’s organization was shorted by the other — what was thought agreed upon wasn’t given. As Randy was considering the best way to go about dealing with the whole thing and before he had even made an initial phone call, the head of the other business was in Randy’s office seeing what could be done to resolve the situation.

They mended fences and parted ways as friends, which they remain to this day. This fellow not only said he was a Christian and that Christ’s love was in him, he also demonstrated it by his actions. He dealt in a proactive Christlike way to resolve a misunderstanding in a business relationship. His example serves as a benchmark of how we should do things in our spiritual lives and in our day-to-day relationships with unbelievers and our Christian brothers and sisters. How we demonstrate love in action is where the rubber meets the road. It is the most like God we can be.

In days of old, the measure of choice was the cubit — approximately the distance between the elbow and the tip of the middle finger. Depending on the size of the person, it could vary from 18 to 24 inches. That was quite a bit of fudge room! To save confusion something called “the king’s cubit” was developed. It was a standard measure based on the king’s personal cubit and everyone else would have to measure by it.

Love is like the king’s cubit; it is what everything else is measured by. But do we even know what love is? These days, everybody seems to have their own definition about what love is. For the final answer, look again at 1 John 4:7,8. Simply defined, God is love and love is God. No love, no God. No God, no love.

So now that we know what love is, what is the evidence of that love? Is it whether or not someone seems to be “loving?” Typically, to those in our culture, that means we give someone what they want. We don’t challenge their thinking. We don’t challenge their actions. We are afraid to hurt their feelings. At all costs we are told we must be tolerant and we must be careful not to “inhibit self-expression.”

Balderdash! Love is not only a noun; it is also an active verb! It means doing, not just saying, even when doing the right thing is uncomfortable. Consider these guidelines from Scripture:

Love will confront a friend in a fault. “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1).

Love will not let enmity reside between itself and anyone else. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23,24).

Love will quickly try to resolve an issue. It will choose to reside in peace as much as it possibly can. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

Love will recognize anger, but will not allow it to stay for very long. “ ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26,27). Anger is a powerful emotion meant to move us to action, but we must choose the right way.

To sum this all up, love can be aggressive in action and yet peaceful in nature. Love does no wrong. It is not easily angered, but when it is, it will look to lay aside the issue quickly. Love will always follow godly order. For example, if someone’s marriage breaks up because “they fell out of love” or if someone has an affair because “they fell in love,” love had nothing to do with it. Love will follow the order God has laid out for it.

We leave you with this familiar passage from 1 Corinthians 13, but with a small change: God is patient; God is kind; God is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. God does not insist on His own way; God is not irritable or resentful; God does not rejoice in wrongdoing, God rejoices in the truth. God bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. God never ends.

Randy and Debbie Mantik pastor Beecher Assembly of God in Pembine, Wis.